I was on another train, I caught a different plane ,

I landed an hour to late to see you..

I was born a day late, my mother called my name

And i turned away and missed your face

where did you go? where did you go now?

cause im coming to find you

im coming to find you

im getting older by the day

could you give me a small clue

and your so hard to see 

ideas are hard to hold

but i love you

as pure as the snow

can you feel my breath behind you

can you hear my steps coming near you

you're stapled, and im coming to you 

theres nothing in this place i fear, 

only you without me and only me without you.

today i dream about me like i dream of you

do you ever sing about me cause i sing about you

this is getting hard, everybody's finding love

and faith is getting tired but my hope is pressing on

can you feel my breath behind you

can you hear my steps coming yeah im coming dear

i will scale mountains to find you

no valley low enough dear.

oh, where am i going?

and when do i stop?

are you there waiting?

or have you given up?

give me a picture, something to see

cause im dying to learn you, dying to breath.

so where did you go?

where did you go for so long?

where did you go love?

because im coming to find you.

i wish i missed the train or just stayed on your plane 

i wish that i was early  for once, just wait.

where did you go?

Arithmetic

I have never been hunting but with the way i love it should count.

They should charge me all the fees and charge me for the hearts that I've taken out..

I have never used a rifle all i need are the words in my mouth,

they burn deeper than a bullet.

Your eyes how they shine all the diamonds in the mine don't come near it.

and all the angels on high fly down time to time just to see it

and with a love like this any woman in the world would die for it.

and i just want to pull the trigger..

And its not my fault,

that I'm not that strong..

you see I've been taught to walk away.

and we can try again, try your arithmetic.

Wont you tell me what's the formula for love.

And I've been plugging in numbers,

but nothing i put in comes out

with ever problem I solve there's another one seen that never gave any ground,

and the answer i fear is a number I've learned to do without

so tell me the truth

and its not my fault that I'm not that strong

you see I've been taught to walk away

and we can try again try your arithmetic

tell me whats the formula for love?

oh, for love for love..

all for love

for love

for love for love love love

and I've got a song to sing for everything I've been through

and on a perfect day i pray for rain just to hum a sad tune

see when the chips are down there's only one thing that's left to do

you've got to walk away

you've got to walk

and its not my fault that I'm not that strong

you see I've been taught to walk away

and we can try again try your arithmetic

tell me whats the formula for love

for love.

because i don't know

come on i don't know

you've got to tell me.

whats the formula for love?

d.r.

IandLoveandYou

Falling in love is the easiest thing you're ever going to do.

It's the most exciting, and it's the most powerful.

Thats why falling out of love hurts so bad..

but falling in love..... there's nothing better.

Its the best it gets.

When you're heart beats faster and the room feels like an entirely different atmosphere when that one is around. Your flesh sweats and fills with chills. Your days become dreams, with no real worries, no crazy ambitions, no dramatic affairs, just you, and the other. When everything you thought it could be fails, only because you never thought it could get this good.. but the best part about being in love is knowing when its strong enough to survive the pain, the hard parts of life. When the love between you and that person is strong enough to keep going when you have nothing to look forward to. When it looks easy to give up, your heart holds on, because you love them. When they become what the love is about not you. When love become selfless. When the words I and Love and You become hard to say, but impossible to deny. That love was designed to conquer. To rise above, and to finish the race. That love was created by a loving creator. That love is wonderful to come by, hard to hold on to, but so worth it. The love that never gives up, never backs down, never frays away. A love that gets broken and chipped, but grows back stronger than before, because this love kept fighting and HEALED! At the end of the day when love is all thats left when everything else is said and done love remains. Love never dies. Love through the Father, Love the Father, Love His children, Love with His strength, Love with His patience, His kindness, His heart made anew in you.

The Walrus Said.....

THE WALRUS SAID

"THE TIME HAS COME," THE WALRUS SAID, "TO TALK OF MANY THINGS: OF SHOES - AND SHIPS - AND SEALING-WAX - OF CABBAGES - AND KINGS AND WHY THE SEA IS BOILING HOT - AND WHETHER PIGS HAVE WINGS."

_

I don't feel beautiful. This is something that in the past couple of years has become so apparent to me. My flesh despises itself, and in the past its been a problem. I live in a town filled with beautiful people, skinny, tan and gorgeous! This post, will emberass me, because its more personal then I would like to get. But I write it because I'm tired of hearing beautiful girls doubt themselves. Im tired of giving in to these thoughts in my head. I am guilty of sin in this arena. It's time for this to stop. It's time to turn to God. I have tried excessive exercise, I've done the starving, and the pills, and the diets, and when my obsessions take over, and fail I do the opposite. I eat crap, stop working out, give up, drown myself in evil self-pity, and I seek the most perfectly figured girls and try and compare myself to them. Its really humiliating, and ridiculous when i say it out loud, but this is reality, this is our culture, and this is our mindset. I hear countless amounts of this, more or less extreme, but its an obsession, and idol, and a foothold of the enemy. It's something I have gotten better at handling, but still struggle with. Somedays just walking in a public place I feel like the most disgusting thing in the room. So how do you deal with this? How do you make this go away? I dont know. What I do is recognize my self esteem and self confidence as feelings. Feelings that are merely a tool that can be manipulated and used by either side. In this case this is not God speaking, but the enemy. How you feel is not always the truth. Running off of feelings alone can lead to massive destruction. The truth of the matter is, you're beautiful. How do you know this?

Ephesians 2:10 says that "We are God's masterpiece." That means you are not average. You are not ordinary. You are one of a kind. When God created you He went to great lengths to make you exactly the way He wanted. You didn't just happen to get your personality. You didn't just accidentally get your nose, your skin color, your gifts or abilities. God designed you the way you are on purpose, for a purpose. The Apostle Paul said, "We should be to the praise of God's glory." In this passage, he's not talking about giving God praise with our words, although that is important. He's encouraging us to make our lives a living praise to Him! When you understand your value, and not only who you are but Whose you are, then your very existence will give God praise. When you are secure in who God made you, and you go out each day being your best, your life will give God praise. In other words, driving to work you're giving God praise. Mowing the lawn you're giving God praise. Going to the grocery store you're giving God praise. Walking through the mall you're giving God praise! Honor God today by accepting who you are. Make the decision to be the best you can be. Get up every morning and set your mind in the right direction by making positive affirmations over your life: "I'm the apple of God's eye. I'm His masterpiece. His fingerprints are all over me." If you will learn to accept and approve yourself and have a right opinion about who you are then you're going to rise higher. God is going to pour out His blessings and you will live that life of victory that God has in store! Understand that when God looks at you, when He looks into YOUR eyes, He sees the most beautiful of all creation. He could paint you for the rest of eternity and be satisfied in His work. You are beautiful to Him. And that is the truth.

In Genesis, God made the heavens and the earth, the birds and the trees the days and the night and the land and the seas,He stopped and He rested. He rested and said all that He made was good. Yet, something was missing… us. So He made man in the image and likeness of Himself. Man and woman were created to have fellowship with God. We weren't the afterthought in creation. We were the special finishing touches. Man, and WOMAN we're his Masterpieces, something that He could not make anymore beautiful. He was satisfied with His children, with You.

For thus saith the LORD of hosts; After the glory hath he sent me unto the nations which spoiled you: for he that toucheth you toucheth the apple of his eye. He says we are His workmanship (Zechariah 2:8).

Next time you look in the mirror, see what God sees and cherish your time on this earth. You are the most prized possession God has. You are His masterpiece. What matters most to Him is you. He loves you. Until you start to realize, how awfully imprtant that truth is, You'll be stuck in lying obsessions of image and beauty. Be confident in the beauty that God beholds unto you. Be confident and know the truth, that you could not be made better, you are God's masterpiece. Praise Him for that.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)

feather in the wind.

Looking at the sea and tides they rise and fall and then they rise again,

water floats like a feather in the wind,

catch me if you can.. catch me.

I don't even know just what I'd do

if you fought your way back through.

Cleared all the cobwebs

they weren't making room for you and me.

There's a road to my heart,

follow the signs to the right,

when you see all the lights glowing bright

inside the dark you know you found me.

Looking at the city scape

tiny little bones sparkling at night.

All i think is ever too late to cross the ties that bind us to our lives

I dont even know just what id say if you found your way back

clearing all the cobwebs and we'd be wishing for you to stay.

There's a road to my heart,

follow the signs to the right,

when you see all the lights glowing bright

inside the dark you know you found me.

looking at the sea again, tides they rise and fall and they rise again

water floats like a feather in the wind, catch me if you can, catch me.

The song I sing...

If you want to hear a good song, listen to a thunderstorm. No matter how many times I try to learn it I'll never sing like the sky. The crash of the cymbals and the deep roar of thunder from within the clouds, as lightning dances with along in harmonic correlation. The sweeping sounds of rain drops violently meeting the Earth again, and again. The glorious refrain of the howling winds vibrating through the creases of the streets. Listen to the vibrant and powerful lights and sounds of our dark covering sky.

Do you know what sings a sweeter, and less powerful song than the sky? The sea. Sit quietly, meditate on the crashing white caps breaking against the rocks, and the rush of the tide meeting the sand for the first time. Can you hear the psalm of the gulls? The enhancing song of the sea calls you deeper into its beauty.

Oh if only I could sing like the sky or the sea, whistle like the birds or the winds in the leaves. If i could hum like the flowers, or dance like the grass. Oh if i could create great stories like the valleys and plains, if i had the confidence and power like the mountains... To this my voice will never compare, but still your spirit calls my heart to sing. You roll through my body like thunder, forcing my voice to cry out Your name, El Shaddai, God of grace, Lord most high, Jesus Christ. Abba Father, Adonai, crowned in praise, Lord most high, Jesus Christ! There is something about this name, its not the letters it consists of, or the tone of each syllable, no its just the name in itself. A name only fit for a king, just this name heals the sick, lame, and broken hearted. Just this name saves a wondering soul, this name alone is the song of the skies, and of the sea. The rocks and the trees only sing praises to this name. Its the only thing I can sing to compete with the stars, and together, all creation will join and praise Hallelujah, God with us. So for longer than this hearts bleeds, I will lift my voice and cry Your name! I will sing You praise, and I will worship You. It's the only thing I know to do. For all I want, all I am, and all I will be is Yours.

Send me a thunderstorm, bring me to the sea, allow me to lift my voice and sing to Thee. In this hour of doubt I see, but who I am is not just me. So give me the strength to die myself, so love can live to tell the tale. let the songs I sing bring joy to You. Let the words I say profess my love. Let the notes I choose be Your favorite tune, Father let my heart be after You alone.

In the name of love.

 

People do a lot of things in the name of love. I remember thinking this when we first made this deal, about love. I never really felt it even when it was offered to me before, because I knew I could never deserve it... There are four things that I do not understand. The way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a serpent on a rock, the way of a ship at sea, and the way a man loves a woman. But when I saw the light and became clean they all started to make sense to me.. the eagle, the ship and even the man and the woman, but what i knew best, what I knew from my gut was the way of that serpent and how he can destroy even the strongest of loves. Knowing this I will ask for your strength, your wisdom to stray from the temptations of that vicious serpent. As I walk along the valleys surrounded by death and disease, wickedness and evil. But at the peeks of the mountains I face before me I found crazy love untouched by the serpent. Lead me there.

I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud W.W.

I wandered lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o'er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd,

A host, of golden daffodils; 

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine

And twinkle on the milky way,

They stretched in never-ending line

Along the margin of a bay; 

Ten thousand saw I at a glance, 

Tossing there heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they

Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee; 

A poet could not be but gay,

In such a jocund company!

I gazed-and gazed-but little thought

What wealth the show to me had brought; 

For oft when on my couch I lie

In vacant or pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills,

And dances with the daffodils.

*****

I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud by William Wordsworth

a thousand times i've failed

still your mercy remains

should i stumble again,

still i'm caught in your grace

everlasting your light will shine when all else fades

neverending your glory goes beyond all fame

who above all else,

my purpose remains

the art of losing myself

in bringing you grace

everlasting your light will shine when all else fades

neverending your glory goes beyond all fame

my heart and my soul

i give you control

consume me from the inside out

let justice and grace become my embrace

to love you from the inside out

everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades

neverending, your glory goes beyond all fame

and the cry of my heart is to bring you praise 

from the inside out-

lord my soul cries out!

****

One is a very lonely number... not only is it lonely but its hard to obtain. You've taken everything. I surrendered my life to You. I opened my doors, to let the light in, You govern my life, You dwell in my heart and You consume my mind. But I still feel the pain. You've cut in so deep and taken so much away from me, its aching and bleeding out. You placed me in a family, but You take them away from me? You allow my faith in YOU to distance me from my flesh and blood that You made especially for me? You fill my life with good, sturdy friendships that can physically hold me and then You push them away after years of commitment, do You forget that You used them to open doors in me?? Then love, I did not ask for, I did not want, I did not need... but You burdened my heart with a crazy and powerful love unlike what I feel for anyone other than You God, You created this bond between another person that I never expect to feel, and You TOOK THAT AWAY! Why? I feel lost, I feel like everything You've told me and granted me is crumbling and falling apart like waves of lies scattered against the rocks. Have You forgotten about me? Have You forgotten that I still feel enormous amounts of pain? I still bleed and I still fall, I crumble and I die. Have MERCY on me. My vision is clouded by the stirrings of emotions and loss. Trying to figure out what is the right thing to do.... all alone I have to figure out what I do next, with nothing to look toward or nothing to guide me. I walk by the light of a crack in the door...... You leave a person wanting to die. What are You trying to prove? Show me what Your trying to show me!!! Perseverance.. Lord I am trying!!!! But with each blow comes blood shed. I can only obtain so much..

All I need is You. I still struggle to believe that! I say it and I mean it, but it is so hard to believe sometimes. I believe I need food to eat,  so instead I hunger for Your word. I need water to drink, so I turn to the thirst in my soul for You. I need to be loved, I forget how much You love me... Oh You love me.

You take the things I think i need, the things I want, for what? To show me that all I need is you. I am Your daughter, you will protect me. You're my best friend, there is nothing You don't know and there is nothing I can't tell you. You are my life, You fuel my fire and feed my soul, You keep me walking, and sometimes life is hard, but You are good. And finally, You are my lover, You have picked me to be Your love, You hold me up, You strengthen me, I yearn to serve You, and I love to dance with You. You love me more than I could ever know, and You do life with me. You dance with me and You hold me when I'm falling. You wash my wounds, and You think i'm beautiful, a masterpiece, Your masterpiece. I am Yours and You are mine. You will not leave me or forsake me, You are good to me when I  do nothing but blame, and nag, and curse You. You forgive me, You never cease to teach me and watch me grow. So keep showing me, that You are everything I could ever need, You will provide, and You will never leave. I love you, but not nearly enough!! I worship you, and I praise you through the cloudy days.

{via: flickr.}

"But most of all,don’t forget this.

Don’t forget that you deserve love, and nothing less.

Never anything less."

-Eletheowl.

Food for Thought:

inspiration pours like rain from the sky 

and weighs heavy like thunder clouds, 

it's irritating like sand in an oyster,

 itching my thoughts and scratching at my veins.... 

Pain is a very fertile field, 

but then again so is joy.

Inspiration:

 Run with it. Grab hold of you inspirations and allow them to carry you great lengths. It is the arousal of the mind to do something, say something, feel something, or be something creative and unusual. Inspirations may be from sweet melodious sounds sponging through your ears, or the need of a child. One day you may just wake up and feel a divine guidance to do something powerful, life changing, inspirational. Perhaps it's to write, to sing, to do, to feel, to say, to believe, to change, to be. Don't be afraid, trust your calling and dive head first into beauty, into life, into art. Figure out what inspires you? What leaves you with the burning passion to do something more? What great thing are you inspired to do?

Find that outlet, tap into the segment of creation in your mind, be inspired,  and be inspiring.

Draw me close & Hold my heart.

I cannot sleep, I know You're near. I can't hear the sirens or feel the cold, I am drawn to Your whisper in the winds. My world is spinning in a constant whirlwind of chaos and confusion, I feel your stronghold around my back, bracing me so for a steady moment i can see the joy found in Your smile. Whenever I'm alone, You make me feel like I am whole again, for this I will always love you. However long i stand alone You hold tightly to my hand, for this I will always love you. Whatever words I say and whatever groans I feel, I will always love you. 

Your love pours unto me like rain from the clouds, Your words become irritants and inspirations festering inside of my mind until they are proclaimed from my refinished lips so that all the world may hear. I am burning with desire for Your touch, Your home, Your throne. Mold me, make me, break me in half, take my shattered pot and bring me back to life. I rest my head on Your shoulder, as you whisper divine guidance in my ear.

All i need is You... Your in the background of the radio, You reside in my house, in my car, You wait patiently at my door, You guide my footsteps, You are my Ghost. I can't shake you, I can't pull away, i might as well write the words right on my face that all I want is You. I can't hold back what's deep in my soul, You have drowned me in your mercy in love so that it has become irresistible to touch. All my fears creep and crawl across my skin, I want to give up give in, let this one sting and stay where it is. You give me the courage, the grace, and the words to say when I have given it up. Darling, please forgive me.... I want you more than the trees want to grow, and the mountains want the snow. And you hold me in your arms all that I can feel is my future in your hands, all that I can see is how long ever after is. It's all that I can do to be with You, just to be with You.. 

I've become this silent beggar....what I possess sits unused and unwanted, broken and dirty in a metal cart with a squeeky wheel. My belongings remain untouched as they sit silently behind the arch of my spine. I simply cup my filthy crippled hands and extend my arms above my head. My tearful eyes drape upward into the eyes of a merciful savior. He had no part of how I ended up here, dirty, poor and alone, broken and unwanted in the eyes of the world, drunk on pity and shame. I beg for change so I can ease the hunger pains clanging in my gut, but this man offered me life and food for the soul he offered me love, forgiveness, and an eternity in paradise. He gave me, a filthy undeserving beggar, the greatest gift of all, He gave me Christ. 

"if I give all my possesions to feed the the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing." 1 Cor. 13:3 "if we are not continually growing, speaking, thinking, acting, and reacting in love then we have failed our Lord Jesus in the worst way possible."-wise words.

greater beauty.

I can see you. I can hear you. Although only a glimpse of an unimaginable, unfamiliar sight and the lowest chorus of the most glorious roar.- I only wish your fullness could I behold. However, what I see I love, what I hear I adore.- You are so far beyond what this world could express, but I can see what your hands resemble. The working of Providence so brightly displayed in Your creations and this elaborate ensemble.

Your face is like diamonds shown under millions of lightning bolts . With eyes shinning like rainbows abound, Your gaze pierces me. Your beauty I cannot turn from when I'm looking into grace Himself. But here.. now.. i stray like a harlot bride, unfaithful, untrue to her lover, her husband. I am not worthy of the earth shifting beneath my feet. I am not worthy of the trees that give me shade, or the rock that i sit upon, for even they sing unending praises to the King. Still, Satisfied.. is what I am not. It says satisfied is: In general, to fill up the measure of a want of; hence, to grafity fully the desire of; to make content;to supply to the full, or so far as to give contentment with what is wished for. But still, I cannot be satisfied in You, because I want more of You, I desire to know and love you deeper, I wish to fear you more, I yearn to learn more of who You are. I long to worship you, and glorify you with my life... but continuously i fail.. i fall short of the throne.. I believe only in death when i can fully understand and see Your beauty, where being held in Your arms is all the time, and where I am finally home will I be truly satisfied. Expose Yourself to me, let me see just a glimpse of Your veil, or an arch in Your holy hands. Allow me to run my hand upon your halo of brilliant light, show me more of who You are. All I see is what I know... and You are so much greater... unimaginable, unfathomable. Praise You beautiful. 

Today, when I walk into the doors of the church, I ask You to send Your spirit upon us in heart wrenching POWER. I pray that all walls will fall so when we worship You we sing to the heavens, and when we cry Your name its a whole hearted cry directly to Your throne. As the Creator of all things that our good I ask that you enhance our worship, make it better and more heart felt and all about You Father, Yahweh, make our worship greater than it was the last time. Create new wants and praises in our prayers, that we pray for the world, and pray for Your glory instead of for ourselves.