One is a very lonely number... not only is it lonely but its hard to obtain. You've taken everything. I surrendered my life to You. I opened my doors, to let the light in, You govern my life, You dwell in my heart and You consume my mind. But I still feel the pain. You've cut in so deep and taken so much away from me, its aching and bleeding out. You placed me in a family, but You take them away from me? You allow my faith in YOU to distance me from my flesh and blood that You made especially for me? You fill my life with good, sturdy friendships that can physically hold me and then You push them away after years of commitment, do You forget that You used them to open doors in me?? Then love, I did not ask for, I did not want, I did not need... but You burdened my heart with a crazy and powerful love unlike what I feel for anyone other than You God, You created this bond between another person that I never expect to feel, and You TOOK THAT AWAY! Why? I feel lost, I feel like everything You've told me and granted me is crumbling and falling apart like waves of lies scattered against the rocks. Have You forgotten about me? Have You forgotten that I still feel enormous amounts of pain? I still bleed and I still fall, I crumble and I die. Have MERCY on me. My vision is clouded by the stirrings of emotions and loss. Trying to figure out what is the right thing to do.... all alone I have to figure out what I do next, with nothing to look toward or nothing to guide me. I walk by the light of a crack in the door...... You leave a person wanting to die. What are You trying to prove? Show me what Your trying to show me!!! Perseverance.. Lord I am trying!!!! But with each blow comes blood shed. I can only obtain so much..

All I need is You. I still struggle to believe that! I say it and I mean it, but it is so hard to believe sometimes. I believe I need food to eat,  so instead I hunger for Your word. I need water to drink, so I turn to the thirst in my soul for You. I need to be loved, I forget how much You love me... Oh You love me.

You take the things I think i need, the things I want, for what? To show me that all I need is you. I am Your daughter, you will protect me. You're my best friend, there is nothing You don't know and there is nothing I can't tell you. You are my life, You fuel my fire and feed my soul, You keep me walking, and sometimes life is hard, but You are good. And finally, You are my lover, You have picked me to be Your love, You hold me up, You strengthen me, I yearn to serve You, and I love to dance with You. You love me more than I could ever know, and You do life with me. You dance with me and You hold me when I'm falling. You wash my wounds, and You think i'm beautiful, a masterpiece, Your masterpiece. I am Yours and You are mine. You will not leave me or forsake me, You are good to me when I  do nothing but blame, and nag, and curse You. You forgive me, You never cease to teach me and watch me grow. So keep showing me, that You are everything I could ever need, You will provide, and You will never leave. I love you, but not nearly enough!! I worship you, and I praise you through the cloudy days.